HELLO GENTLE READERS,
It’s something I’ve been pondering for some time now. How do I break into the “AS SEEN ON TV” market? It seems like it would be a pretty good gig; invent something, pimp it on TV and earn the equivalent of Peru’s National Debt!
What to invent? A telescoping fishing pole? Nope, it’s been done. Maybe a turbo-charged Rascal Wheelchair? It sure would make the mall more interesting but, there are too many liability issues. Wait! I’ve got it! A Marijuana Chia Pet! Yes, this is the idea I’ve been waiting for! An “herbal” Chia Pet in the shape of Bob Marley. Surely a winner. Oh Tom, go ahead and place your order for the Rolls Royce today!
I can just hear Ed McMahon hawking it now, “Friends, have you always wanted to grow things but, just don’t have a green thumb? If the answer is yes, then you must stay tuned for this offer. How much would you expect to pay for this lovely item? $100.00? $50.00? No friends, for $19.95 plus shipping and handling we will send you our signature Bob Marley Marijuana Chia Pet! It’s so simple a Baby Boomer can do it. Just add water and watch it grow! It’s bound to be the centerpiece at your next party. But wait! If you call within the next ten minutes, we’ll also throw in a lifetime supply of ‘Zig-Zag’ Papers. You just pay shipping and handling. Supplies are limited so, please go to the phone now. Operators are standing by to take your order. Call the number at the bottom of your screen or, you can visit our website at bong.com. You won’t be sorry.”
Offer not available in stores. Void where prohibited. Consumer must pay all applicable taxes. Offer not valid in Iowa or New Hampshire.
My next venture-Dehydrated Water. And dude, like, don’t Bogart the Chia! tom vickers