HELLO GENTLE READERS,
What is love? What does the word mean? Would the meaning change if the word were different? The smile on a teenage girls face when finally asked out by the cutest boy in school; the look on a new mother’s face the first time she nurses her newborn and gazes in the baby’s eyes; the warmth in the new father’s heart when he watches his partner’s and infant’s first real interaction; the grin on the face of an elderly man whose wife of fifty+ years winks at him while sitting on the porch drinking their coffee-are any of these examples less beautiful if referred to as affect or electro chemical responses or life experiences?
The other day, I replaced our hot water tank. I cut the old pipes, attached new hoses, installed a ball valve with compression fittings on both ends and wired everything together. My son went out and turned the water back on and there was a little leak. With pliers in hand, I tried to tighten the compression fittings and it slipped. I had a fountain flowing all over myself and my utility room. I was absolutely soaked! There is a theory in science called Occam’s Razor that states (paraphrased), “The simplest solution is almost always the correct one”. In a panic, not thinking, I simply put the pipes back together and held them until my son turned the water back off, and it pretty much worked. My first reaction was, and most generally is, the best reaction. In other words, when I’m not thinking about it or trying to define the situation, I tend to end up simply doing the next right thing.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to spend the evening with an awesome, awesome friend. We talked until 3:00 this morning. We discussed everything from premonitions to the definition of love. On the drive home, I got a picture in my head of the water gushing from the pipes in my utility room and had an epiphany! Love isn’t something we can define or even name. It is simply like a fountain that sprays all over us, often when we aren’t thinking about it or expecting it. It simply happens. Then I realized that the process of trying to define a thing or person or event distances me from it because in attempting to capture a thing with words, takes it out of it’s own context and puts it in the very limited confines of my mind and perception. When I try to name or define love, I limit something that has no limits. I place MY value on something that is priceless. In other words, it is no longer love. When the hot water tank blew, I didn’t stop to think or define the situation, I acted on the simplest solution. When I have an emotional response to someone, it is simply that-an emotional response. Thinking about it changes it from emotion to intellect and it no longer “feels” the same. So, is love, by any other name, still as sweet? I don’t know. I reckon I could think about it, but then I’m not FEELING it, and that, simply put, is not nearly so sweet.
On parting last night, my awesome, awesome friend made the statement, “I don’t know what to think.” The simplest answer, to me it seems is, “Don’t!”
LaVerna Huey
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