NINJA WARRIOR, STROKES & VERSED (TASTE THE RAINBOW, DUDE!)


Hello again Gentle Readers—I’ve been away a few days. I had what is known as a TIA or a “Small Stroke”. Who in the name of God decided that any event involving “brain damage” is “SMALL”? Not when it’s my brain. Anyway, it’ not like I have any extra IQ points to relinquish. On the other hand, anything involving my brain couldn’t that big. They gave me a test so important that it’s only mentioned by initials (TEE). They put this “thingy” (sorry for the technical lingo) down your throat and measure some other “thingy” (sorry again). Before they give you this test thet give you some “LIQUID IGNORANCE”. Good Stuff! It’s called VERSED and it’s an instant amnesiac. You lose 78 IQ points in less than ten seconds. Damn good stuff. I’ve just recently re-learned my name. Well, I think I have, but it really doesn’t matter. Darn it! The only bad part was the TV set in the hospital didn’t receive my newest, favorite show. NINJA WARRIOR! Have you seen this show? It invloves contestants completing a near impossible obstical course in a certain amount of time. Only the Japanese could’ve invented such a show! Did you know that Japan has a “champion” for almost anything: hitchiking, fishing, newspaper readering, spitting (men’s and women’s divisions), gas station attendents, backward walking, unicycle marathon (again men’s and women’s divisions), cell phone ownership (heavy and lightweight divisions), photo taking, laptop toting and other improbable events. The list is endless. Many of these “champions” compete on this show.  Do you know what name NOG means in Japanese? It means Nog! Not only is this show infomative, it’s addictive. The announcer is like a Japanese Howard Cosell. Even the subtitles are exciting. They start with about 100 contestants and usually nobody wins. Some of the events are “The Salmon Ladder” and “The Jumping Spider”. Do you know how to say Jumping Spider in Japanese? Yumping Spider (the “J” is silent)! See, I told you it’s informative. And I missed it! When, improbably, somebody successfully completes the course they change it to make it even harder. Emergency rooms are full of children imitating these events at home. The occasional winner gets about 650,000,000 Yen. That’s about $18.00 and a bag of Skittles in American currency. Taste the Rainbow, Dude! I know this show is revenge for Hiroshima. I would have more to say, but, that’s all I remember…As Always…. tomvickers@suddenlink.net

Published in: on March 3, 2008 at 4:34 pm  Leave a Comment