Arthritis and Global Warming (Wear out the Lawn Chairs, Hannah!)

tom-5.jpg HELLO GENTLE READERS–Is this a great time to be alive or what? All the cool stuff that’s available now just blows me away; Cable TV, “Whole-Wheat” Pop Tarts, Satellite TV, the Hubble Telescope, the Internet, Wii games, Mars Rovers, Fabreze,  Starbuck’s, drug-enhanced Home-run records, CSPAN, CNN Headline News and GLOBAL WARMING! Now I’m excited about Fuel-Cell cars (will my old Z-28 take regular or premium Hydrogen?). But, I keep hearing all the horror stories about Global Warming and it does concern me. Don’t get me wrong–I am a Mid-Level Environmentalist (don’t even think about touching my air conditioning). I guess I’ve gotten to that “I need creature comforts” (lots and lots of ’em) stage of middle-age (I think “roughing-it” is slow room service or “Black and White” TV). I’m sorry but I NEED GLOBAL WARMING, Darn it! I have a touch of arthritis and I need the warmth. Winters here in Appalachia need corrective measures! I don’t want to lose my “Mid-Level” Environmentalist staus but my left knee loves Exxon and Dow Chemical! I’m sorry, but, since Vioxx became deadly I haven’t found a suitable substitute. Please forgive me! I need Global Warming! Dust off the Lawn Chairs and come on over, Ya’ll. 

Published in: on March 9, 2008 at 12:04 pm  Comments (1)