Toast and Funky Butter (OLEO LORDY ME!)


I take a daily Lipitor tablet the size of the Exxon Valdez, but still have to watch my diet. I have a cholesterol “issue”, so, I try to be careful with my eating habits. This isn’t easy for me! I’m a “Boomer” (no childhood memories-only flashbacks) and was raised on REAL BUTTER!

My parents had to tolerate Oleo during WWII. Dad said he’d rather eat axle grease, so, we had butter on the table. I love butter! So sweet and creamy in your mouth. So tasty on a piece of toast, a bagel or an English Muffin (they talk funny, don’t they?).

 I’d taken Lipitor for a while and, when I first started my “cholesterol regimen” I switched over to an Oleo-style butter. Just when I was making peace with my new food lubricant, the “Trans-Fatty-Acid-Police” showed up in Riot Gear! Oleo-style butters may be more of a health hazard than real butter! Darn! I told myself not to worry. This is America. Somebody will invent something (and the Japanese will make it fit in your watch pocket) to take the place of fake butter. Somebody Did! Have you ever tasted Promise? Fake fake butter! OOOOOH! I think the ingredients are water and yellow dye #4. It’s awful! Bread soaks up this stuff like a sponge in a bathtub! If you don’t eat your toast within 31 nano-seconds go ahead and pour it down the sink! Oleo Lordy me!!