I “Channel” John Wayne (Also, Jimi Hendrix and The Book of Job)


tom-5.jpg¬†HELLO GENTLE READER–I know you’ve been wondering who my Spirit Guide is. Usually we “Mediums” (easy to fit off the rack) keep mum about this but, I’ve been given permission to tell you. It’s Betsy Ross. OK, now you know. Let’s seance, shall we? EENY-MEENY-CHILI-BEANY, the spirits are about to speak; Is anybody there? Hello? Hello? Sorry! Darn, the crystal’s not hooked up to the TV cable box….. OK, let’s try again. Anyone there?….”How long will ye vex my soul, and break me in pieces with words?”….Job? Now what did I say to merit that?….”These ten times have ye reproached me.”….Job, this is Tom!….”Oh, my bad.”….”Hello, Pilgrim.”….Hey John! How are you?….”Anybody gotta light?”….John? Is that you? Oh, it’s the Marlboro Man. We welcome you but, you must go outdoors to smoke!….”WAH! WAH! WAH TWANG! WAH!”….Jimi, Dude, what’s up?….”Purple Haze, runnin’ thru my brain, Lately things just don’t seem the same, acting funny, but I don’t know why.”….”I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are ye all.”….Now, Job. Not all of us are like that!….”Ya’ gotta’ stand up and take it like a man, Pilgrim.”….John, that’s not the answer to everything…..”Does anybody have a light?”….”Sew what!”….Betsy! Honey, how are you today?….”I’ve got a touch of chilblains, child.”….I’m sorry, sweetheart….”My breath is corrupt, my days extinct.” Marlboro Man? Sorry! Well, Job, you guys are hard to tell apart sometimes!….”Anybody wanna’ arm wrestle?”….John?….John? Betsy? Betsy! That’s not lady like!….”I’ll arm wrestle ya’, ya’ little schoolmarm.”….Guys, we have viewers. Knock it off!….”Not for any injustice in mine hands.”….Job, lighten up a little, will you?….”Did somebody say “light?” I need a light!”….Sorry, folks. I’m going to trade-up to a digital, clear signal crystal as soon as Wal-Mart opens.¬† tom vickers