I “Channel” Mae West (Also, Don Knotts and Chatty Cathy)

tom-5.jpg HELLO GENTLE READER–Welcome to the “Spirit World”. Alas, Wal-Mart stopped carrying crystals and I had to drive all the way to Louisville to get a new one. It’s a digital, clear channel, free-range, low sodium, fat-fee model. I hope it works. I purchased it at , believe it or not, at a New Age emporium called “GHOST-TRUSTERS!” Let’s see how it does. EENY-MEENY-CHILI-BEANY, the spirits are about to speak. Hello. Anybody home?….”Why don’t you come on up and see me sometime?”….Mae? Mae West? How is your day going?….”This is a day which shall live in infamy.”….Mr. President! Welcome aboard. (excuse me while I fine-tune this thing this-is not a political posting)…….OK. I’m back! Mae, what do you miss most in the Spirit world?….”Ma-Ma, Ma-Ma.”….Chatty Cathy, is that you? Hi, Cathy…..”Andy! Andy, it’s awful. I’ve uncovered a crime! It’s big, really big, Andy!”….I thought Mayberry was a “gated-community”, Barney…..”Ma-Ma, Ma-MA. Whaaaaa, Ma-Ma.”….Hush pretty baby don’t say a word-daddy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird. Whew! Chatty’s a light sleeper….”But Andy, it’a a sex crime!”….”Details! Details, please!….Mae, this is a family blog, not a Porn site!….”Darlin’, if sex is a crime then lock me up.”…..”Ma-Ma, Ma-Ma.”….”I’m not your mother you little #&%*$!”….Mae! Enough of that!….”Andy! It’s big, really big.”….”What’s big darlin’?” MAE! STOP IT. I’m sorry folks. In the future this will be a “Mae West-Free Zone”. Stay tuned.   tom vickers