I “Channel” The Crocodile Hunter (Also, Shakespeare and the Wizard of Oz)

tom-5.jpg HELLO GENTLE READER–I’ve wanted to “Channel” the Crocodile Hunter for quite a while now; haven’t you?…Well, here goes…EENY-MEENY-CHILI-BEANY, the spirits are about to speak…”Ello mate. Welcome ‘down under’. You’re just in time to ‘elp me put Rosie back in her paddock!”….Uh, I don’t think so, Steve!….”Can’t say as I blame you, mate. She’s a bit grumpy today; ‘asn’t had ‘er tucker yet.”…Steve, just how does one decide upon a career of reptile wrangling? They didn’t even have a booth at my High School Job Fair…..”It wouldn’t be fair, ‘tho you might not care, putting a croc in a box, while combing your hair!”….Suess! Welcome back!….”What light through yon window breaks? “Tis Juliet and the East.”….Willie!…..”Gotta go now, I’ll be back later, reptiles should be kept in a rerigerator!”….Suess, I know; I keep them in the crisper drawer…..”I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFULL OZ!….Hey Oz, just what is behind curtain number three?….”I’ll get you my little pretty; and your little dog Toto too!”….Never mind, Oz. I really don’t want to know…..”Mate, if you cover their eyes, they settle down quite nice. Where’s me Duct Tape?…”Cover their eyes, duct tape their teeth, clip their toenails and tickle their feet.”….”Is it just me, or is it hot in here? I’M MELTING, I’M MELTING!”….”That’s one way to Tame a Shrew.”….No shrews, mate; only reptiles!”…. “CLICK YOUR HEELS THREE TIME AND REPEAT, I WANT TO GO HOME-I WANT TO GO HOME-I WANT TO GO HOME!”….”Auntie ‘EM!”… tom vickers