Ninja Warrior Update (Martha Out, Bisque Tainted)

sr_1696d431217cd3.jpgDATELINE MT. MIDORIAMA—In an unfortunate incident, seven people had to be rushed to the hospital after consuming the Bisque at the Martha Stewart, Ninja Warrior, hiring ceremony. When reached, Martha said, “I just don’t understand it! It never made anyone ill when I did kitchen duty in prison!” No firm decisions have been made for Martha’s replacement. Mr. Yakamota stated, “An Imperial Storm Trooper couldn’t clean up this mess. It will take several days to remove the cozies, lace, dried flower arrangements, K-Mart Booths and Martha autographed pictures from Mt. Midoriama. We will meet tonight to discuss future hirings. Perhaps we can lure Dick Cheney away from the big oil interests.”This is as sad a situition as this reporter has ever witnessed.   tom vickers