Oh, Joy! (Snake Day on the National Geographic Channel)


 

HELLO GENTLE READERS,

I try to accept the world as it is. I’m a live and let live kinda’ guy but, I DONT LIKE SNAKES! It borders on a phobia. I don’t like reptiles in general, but, I REALLY HATE SNAKES! They’re not finished for Pete’s sake! No legs, no eyelids? Come on now! Was God taking a nap or spending too much time with Bill Gates (Windows XP isn’t finished either) when he planned them?

I guess it all goes back to my childhood. I grew up in rural West Virginia. Actually, you drive to “rural”, hang a left and walk the rest of the way in (directions courtesy of MapQuest). I lived in a town called “Decota”. We couldn’t afford a name of our own so, we stole one from a state and then spelled it wrong.

Anyway, when I was about six years old, I was playing in the front yard with my little friend, Elaine. She started screaming, and there, hanging on her ankle, was a venemous Copperhead snake! My dad killed the snake but, I can still see Elaine shaking her leg and the snake flopping about like a chicken on crack cocaine! Elaine nearly died!

I HATE SNAKES! I hate pictures of snakes! Snakes probably hate me too. I don’t care! I HATE SNAKES!  tom vickers