New From Mattel…(“Crack-Whore” Barbie)


I was in Wal Mart the other day (yes, we here in Pinch, WV get all “gussied-up” for a Wal Mart visit) looking for a Spiderman “thingy” for my grandson. I passed by the “Barbie” aisle (an entire aisle!). Wow! How many kinds of Barbie models¬†are there?

I’ve got some ideas for Mattel:

  1. “Goth” Barbie” (only available in black clothing; tattoos not included).
  2. “Democratic Canidate” Barbie (pantsuits included).
  3. “Call Girl” Barbie (comes with “little black’ book)’
  4. “Victoria’s Secret” Barbie (I’ll never tell).
  5. “Amish” Barbie (buttons not included).
  6. “Al Qaida” Barbie (Burka included; AK-47 sold separately).
  7. “Fast Food” Barbie (comes with fries and a medium Coke).
  8. “Courtney Love” Barbie (paraphernalia not included).
  9. “Detox” Barbie (DT’s included).
  10. “Married for Money” Barbie (jewelery sold separately).
  11. “Survivor” Barbie (tiki torch included).
  12. “Paris Hilton” Barbie (brains not included).
  13. “Martha Stewart” Barbie (ball & chain included; cake mix sold separately).
  14. “Gay” Barbie (Ken not included).
  15. “Teen Pregnant” Barbie (DNA Paternity Test kit sold separately).
  16. “Bag Lady” Barbie (comes with shopping cart)
  17. “Lawyer” Barbie (retainer not included).
  18. “Middle East” Barbie (pet goat included).
  19. “Hillbilly” Barbie (teeth not included).

I’m open to more ideas. What Barbies do you want to add to the list?¬† tom vickers