Remember my friend Stella? A lovely girl, not too bright but, lovely. She and I stopped by Tilly’s Coffee House the other day. After chasing Stella around Wal Mart for a good two hours, I was ready for a caffeine infusion. Actually, I needed a coupla’ shots of Canadian but, coffee was a good beginning.

We’d never been to Tilly’s before and I expected a Starbuck’s clone. Before I go any farther, I have a confession to make: Coffee House menus intimidate me! I never know what to order. I’ll stand in line, silently try to pronounce the selections, pick out one I think my hillbilly tongue can negotiate, get to the counter and say, “Large coffee, please!” If you think I’m inept at ordering, you should see Stella. Her room temperature IQ drops a few degrees and all motor activity ceases. Now, I feel better! Sorry for the digression.

As I say, I expected a typical coffee shop and, it was. Except!…You’re not going to believe this!…An iguana! The Barista was an iguana! Even Stella noticed this! A big-ass iguana, too! I couldn’t even stammer out, “Large coffee, please.” Being of sound stock, I recovered quite nicely and said, “What tha’ hell!”

A teeny-tiny, teenage, feminine voice emerged from that trainload of ugly and said, “I lost a bet!”

Tom Vickers