Barbie Doll Arrested! Drugs and Prostituition Charged!


In a terse statement today, Mattell, the patent holder on Barbie, admitted that she had been taken into custody and released on an undisclosed amount of bond. The spokesman, a Mr. Plastico, said more information would be released as the situation developed.

A friend of the family, Ken, said that Barbie had been on a long, long downward spiral. “It all started with those damned mini-skirts, spiked heels and that friggin’ Corvette. I just hope that people will be understanding. After all, most families have been touched by drugs. Also, Mattel should take some of the blame here. The pressure to sell more and more toys has been tremendous. Why, I knew Barbie when she was a cute 34-D with two-inch spikes. But the pressure was so great that she felt the need to have ‘plastic’ surgery. Now look where those ‘D’ cups and three-inch spikes have taken her. Right to the gutter! I hope you’ll include her in your prayers!,” he exclaimed.

We sure will.

Tom and LaVerna Vickers