Love Monger Ministries Presents—Racial Profiling Jesus


Since we’ve just started this new religious movement, I figure I’ll act as prophetess for a bit and tell you all about my dream last night.

You see, Jesus returned just as pretty as you please!  To simplify matters, he came back to Earth where he left off the last time.  (Things have changed so much on this planet, I reckon he didn’t want to get lost or anything.)

 Since that return spot was, well, in the Middle East he took on the appearance of the region.  Besides, since time for him is kind of condensed, it hadn’t been all that long since he was here before and he rather liked how he looked, being Jesus and all, and having good self-esteem, you know.

So, anyway, Jesus came back somewhere near where Calvary once was and, after sight seeing for a few days and receiving a fairly warm reception by all the local Muslims–being He’s a prophet to them and all–he figured it was time to hop on an airplane and fly to the good ‘ol USA to spend some time with his followers here.

Problem was, Jesus got to the security checkpoint at the airport and, looking like a Middle Eastern fellow, got stopped.  

Then the next problem was that his ID was waaaaayyyyy expired so that got him sent to THAT room where all the interrogations happen.

After hours and hours of questioning and Jesus getting rather frustrated with all them American Homeland Security folks insisting he was rather suspicious with a 2000+year old ID and claiming to be Jesus of Nazareth when the US and Brittain had disbanded that town decades ago, Jesus finally felt a little hopeful when a big burly Homeland Security uppitty up came in wearing a big ‘ol cross around his neck.

“Who in  the world do you think you are???” asks the burly man.

“Gee whiz, don’t you even recognize me?”, asks Jesus.

“Ahhhh, smart ass, eh?” retorts the officer.  

“Book ’em!  Just send him to Gitmo where they’re sending all the other towel heads!”  (Yeah, yeah I know Obama’s closing it, but it was my dream!)

Jesus just rolled his eyes, looked sadly at the Homeland Security dude, wriggled his nose and disappeared instantly out of sight.

I reckon he just got fed up with being racially profiled for his appearance and simply went back home.

LaVerna and Tom Vickers