West Virginia Declares War…

President Barrack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This here is Archie, down at Summersville , West Virginia , I am callin’ to tell ya’ll that we are offi…cially declaring war on ya!” “Well Archie,” Barrack replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?” “Right now,” said Archie, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from the local VA Lodge. That makes eight!” Barack paused. “I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.” “Wow,” said Archie. “I’ll haveta call ya back!”

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. ” Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!” “And what equipment would that be Archie?” Barack asked. “Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, Harry’s John Deere tractor, and a drill from the mine.” President Obama sighed. “I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.” “Lord above”, said Archie, “I’ll be getting back to ya.”

Sure enough, Archie rang again about twenty minutes later. ” President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Harolds’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!” Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!” “Well, nuts,” said Archie, “l’ll haveta call you back.”

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. ” President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.” “I’m sorry to hear that” said Barack . “Why the sudden change of heart?” Well, sir,” said Archie, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed two million prisoners..”


Tom & Laverna Vickers