Eat Here, Get Gas or Walker, Breakfast Ranger!…



Hello Gentle Readers,

Here in our neck of the woods we have a convenience store named Sheetz. They have EVERYTHING! Running on empty? Stop in and fill-er’-up at a three-cent discount per gallon. Forgot your sweetie’s birthday? Negative perspiration; they’re open 24/7. You can get her a WVU sweatshirt in any size the Chinese can conjure. If you have trouble making a decision, they sell “to-go” wine by the glass. If you forgot her birthday was three days ago, they sell “to-go” wine by the drum, but I digress.

They have “Made-To-Order” food. Some of it is actually edible, although a smaller percentage is digestible. They have a breakfast sandwich that is guaranteed to keep cardiologists in business regardless of the outcome of the Civil War looming over Obamacare. It’s named “Walker Breakfast Ranger”. It has as many sources of cholesterol as one can fit between two slices of Texas Toast. It includes enough bacon, eggs, cheese and unpronounceable pork by-products to fill the heart of Al Qaida with dread. The salt and nitrate content alone should make it a favorite of Doomsday Preppers. It has to have a shelf-life of decades.

So, we here at TV’s Weblog salute you, Sheetz. We believe in Truth-in-Advertising and eat here, get gas is as factual as it gets.

Tom and LaVerna Vickers