HELLO GENTLE READERS,
BULLETIN—DATELINE…THE WHITE HOUSE, Washington DC:
This Just In…
Our TOP SECRET White House source, “High Cheek Bones” just sent us a transcript of a recorded Obama family conversation….
Malia and Sasha (in unison, mostly): “But MOOOOOOOOMMMMMM, all the kids in our fancy new school don’t just have a PS2, they all have Wii’s AAANNNNDDD PS3’s!!! It’s bad enough we have to dress in REGULAR clothes!!! We just HAVE to have the video games like everyone else does! Otherwise, all the kids will think we’re DORKS!!!!”
Mommy (AKA Michelle Obama, First Lady (yeaaaahhhh) of the United States): “Watch your mouths when you speak to me, girls, that’s an ugly word!” and “Girls, we are living through one of the worst economic crises in the history of this country. We NEED to set an example to the rest of the country. Not every little girl is as lucky as either of you two. Besides, JFK’s kids didn’t have all the latest video games either.”
Malia: “Mommy, that’s just plain ridiculous!!! There weren’t video games back in the olden days when Kennedy was President. Besides, it just isn’t fair! Daddy’s the President of the United States now!!! It wasn’t Daddy who made the economic crisis! It was the laaassssttt President!!! We ought to get a little bit extra for being his kids!!! It’s just NOT FAIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Sasha: “Yeah!!! Malia’s right! It’s just NOT FAIRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Mommy: “You have my answer, girls. You got your puppy after the election. You just don’t need all those video games because everyone else has them. PERIOD!!!”
Malia: “Mooommmmmyyyyyyy, please, please, please…”
Mommy: “I’ll tell you what, I’ll call Daddy on CELL PHONE 1 and put it on speaker and see what HE says!”
LEST THE 16 MINUTE GAP IN THE CONVERSATION (WHILE THE FIRST FEMALES TELL DADDY WHAT’S TRANSPIRED SO FAR)…
(ON SPEAKER PHONE FROM CELL PHONE 1)
Daddy (AKA Barack Obama, President (yeaaaaahhhh) of the United States): “Girls, Honey, I think I have a solution. There are plenty of things the girls can do to earn a little money around here that won’t jeopardize National Security. How about if the girls work and EARN the money to buy the video games themselves? That way they’ll begin to understand the value of a dollar.”
Mommy: “That’s a good idea, Honey! Girls, I’ll make a list and you can start EARNING the video games or whatever other luxuries your hearts desire. Hopefully, this will set an example to other American children as well.
Sasha and Malia (in unison, mostly): “Yeaaahhhh!!! Yipeeeeee!!! When do we start? Does homework count? Thank gooodddnnnneeesssss! We aren’t going to be DORKS after all! Sorry, Mommy, I forgot. Dork is an ugly word.”
Michelle: “Thanks, Honey, I know you’re busy so I’ll let you go now. You’re amazing, you know that? I love you.”
Sasha and Malia: “Love you, Daddy. See you when you get home. Hey, you can even look up cheat codes for us from CELL PHONE 1!!! After we’ve earned the games, of course!”
Daddy: “I love all of you, too. Michelle, I’ll be even more amazing tonight after the girls are in bed!”
Mommy: “HONEY, the girls are listening!!!!!!”
Daddy: “Gotta go. Secret Service is hollaring for me. Love you!!!
AUDIBLE CLICK AS CELL PHONE 1 SIGNAL IS DISCONNECTED
Michelle: “Now, go do your homework, girls. I love you both! Don’t forget to give Daddy a kiss when he gets home and tell him thank you for his idea of EARNING your games like other American children ought to be doing.”
Brought to the attention of the American Public by:
LaVerna Huey AND Tom Vickers
TV's Weblog-The Great Nonsense of Life 