Mixed Martial Arts–A Spelling Bee…


HELLO GENTLE READERS,

Once again another Olympic season is almost upon us. I’m always interested to see what new, obscure sport will foisted upon us in living color and tape delay. Curling and Rhythmic Gymnastics are two of these events that have filtered into our living rooms over the years. I can tell you, these were not popular sports to those of us that grew up at Cabin Creek, WV. The closest thing we saw to Rhythmic Gymnastics was Earl “Eightball” Carver drunkenly dodging the coal train. In the interest of broadening our sports viewing experience, I propose a new Olympic event–the Mixed Martial Arts Spelling Bee.

This would be a very interesting combination of brawn and brains. The early rounds of the event would be determined by contestants spelling all of the items on a Starbuck’s menu. This should narrow the field down to the final contestants. The remaining gladiators would then “cage” fight to determine the medal winners. Come to think of it, nobody can spell all the items on a Starbuck’s menu. Perhaps they can spell medical terms or the names of Eastern European countries. It could be worked out.

Yes, I think the entire world would enjoy seeing the “best and rightest” scholars enter the cage and beat the snot out of each other. I know I would. 

Coming in two years–LSD Ski Jumping

Tom and LaVerna Vickers