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HELLO GENTLE READERS,

I enjoy useless information so, how about a freakishly funny, fantasticaly far-fetched, fascinatingly funky, far-out feast of fertilizer? As you can see, I also enjoy illiteration.

1.  The expression “three-dog night” comes from when it’s so cold you need to sleep with three dogs to keep warm. I admit I’ve slept with “dogs” before but, never in a menage-a-trois.
2.  You are more apt to become a target of mosquitos if you eat bananas. I imagine you would also be a more likely target of monkeys.
3. Tigers have striped skin as well as striped fur. I guess that’s why you never see one on “L.A. Ink“.
4. White eggs come from chickens with white feathers. Brown eggs come from chickens with brown feathers. Easter eggs come from chickens who have been on “L.A. Ink“. Ok, Ok, I made up the Easter egg bit.
5. Did you know that a “jiffy” is an actual unit of time? It is between 1/50th and 1/100th of a second. It’s also a very fine peanut butter if you can catch it.
6. There are more insects in a square mile of rural land than there are human beings on earth. The meek may well inherit the earth but, they’ll have to wrestle it away from the bugs.
7. French Fries, Swiss Steak, Chop Suey and Russian Dressing are all American in origin. I wonder if American Cheese is Japanese?
8. The “sixth sick Sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” may be the hardest tongue twister in the English language. Being a hillbilly, I even had trouble typing it.
9. Forty percent of the people who attend a party at your house will snoop through your medicine cabinet. A solution to this may be to only invite sixty percent of the people you would normally invite.
10. Cats are now in more households than dogs. They’re in more trees too, I imagine.
11. Refried beans are only fried once but, who’s counting? Nobody it seems.

Please feel free to ridicule or add to this list.
tom vickers